Sunday, October 9, 2011

The Narrow Path less Traveled....

Although a part of me has always known, I do not believe I have always understood as deeply as I do now. The only way to our Lord is to suffer with Him. This may sound out-of-date or as though out of an ancient book on some ancient saint's life.

However, this mystery of suffering is not to be underestimated. It is precisely through this path that is the path avoided and even shunned by humans. It is in our animal-nature to withdraw from pain and suffering. This why we run to the medicine cabinet at the first sign of pain. This is why we try to avoid uncomfortable confrontation with those in our lives -to avoid the pain and discomfort of setting things straight. This is why we feel sorry for ourselves when someone at work or at home has hurt our feelings.

Before, I go any further I should make myself clear that we should not look for suffering or seek out new ways to suffer for Christ. He sends us the crosses, it our responsibility as Christians to embrace these crosses that He sends and to always Trust in HIs will for us. Jesus does not wish us to be sad and despondent over our sufferings and trials within this life- He wants us to endure them with Joy and love for HIm! Remember Suffering+Love=Joy. You cannot love and not suffer. This is why so many songs, poems, etc. speak of the hurts and pains of love. Love is a paradox in itself and in order to grow and become more perfect, we must suffer. Just as a mother must experience labor pains to bring a life into the world, so we must endure the labors of our own life in order to be born of everlasting life!

We should not lose hope when sufferings come that our feelings are not one's of joy but of dread. Even Christ Himself suffered terribly in the Garden of Gesthemene, the night before his Crucifixion. He could see what He would have to endure physically, emotionally, and spiritually- all for love of us and to carry out the Will of His Father! Christ suffered such terrible anxiety that he sweat blood over it! So- although we may sometimes feel anxiety - we should offer it up to our Lord to perfect us in our suffering and repeat over and over to Him- Jesus, I trust in You and I accept my suffering as Your Will for me to bring me closer to You! "Not my will, but Your will be done"

For Christ once said to St. Faustina: "Your sufferings will lead to your sanctification"

What hope this one line brings into my heart and such consolation as well! Take heart - for the more you suffer, the more dear you are to Christ's Heart.

Christ rejoices over souls that place their complete trust in Him. Even though we do not feel it, we still please our Lord just willing ourselves to trust Him. For He knows that this requires greater faith and love in Him -than knowing or feeling His Consolations for us. He personally picks up such little souls and brings them to the heights of sanctity!

However, such little souls are not aware of their sanctity because their humility and littleness keeps their feet in the palm of His hand -yet His hand be lifted towards Heaven. The little ones do not realize how high they are - for they are being carried by their Father.

It also occurred to me that every time we receive the sacrament of confession- we are once again as white as snow and crowned as daughters and sons of Our King in Heaven. Every time we sin we tarnish these crowns and bring scandal to the kingdom of God. The cause of our fall is because we place too much trust in ourselves and not enough in Christ. We do not call on Him as we should when faced with temptation or occasions of sin. Instead we try to fight it ourselves without remembering our own weakness and misery. When we turn this weakness and misery over to our Lord and call upon the names of Jesus and Mary during temptations- We will receive the necessary graces to overcome such temptations. Once overcome, it strengthens our virtues and graces within us to overcome a more powerful temptation in the future.

The most powerful tool besides the Eucharist, is prayer and the Rosary. While saying the rosary our minds are lifted to the mysteries of the life of Christ and the one who bore Him- while our lips are proclaiming the words of scripture- The Our Father and the words of Gabriel to Mary- Hail full of grace!

Lord- Today I offer You all of myself- my failings, my miseries, my pain, but most of all my love and trust in you. Please make me as you will me to be and take away my own will and make it only YOUR Will. I realize how weak I am and know I cannot do anything myself. I need You in all the moments of my life if I am to do anything worthy of entering Your kingdom and gazing onto your omnipotent face.

I empty myself Lord- so You may fill me with good and Holy virtues and graces- to carry out Your Will for me on earth.

I love you - but help me to love you as I should!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Being Free and Fluid...

Some people believe that in order to be free we must be able to do what we want, when we want, and how we want; but how is that free? All that is is following your basest of desires and will. This eventually gets you or those around you into trouble by choosing the wrong path or making decisions that are harmful to others. you may ask how are any of my decisions harmful to others? They may be harmful to myself but if I'm not hurting anyone -how am I harming others?

Well, say on the way home from work you stop at the gas station and are short or rude to someone there, your rudeness can affect others or harm them in a way you would not know. That person could be having the worst day of his or her life and you in your rudeness just added the last straw that broke the proverbial camel's back!

This is why it is so important to not let our moods govern our actions but allow the Will of God to govern us.

The only way we can be truly free is to follow God's Will for us in every decision, every movement we make.

A great way to practice this is to not live a compartmentalized life. In other words, be the same person no matter what or who is around you. Does this mean to be a jerk no matter who's around? Of course not, but if you are a faithful person who wants to follow God's commandments then do it! No matter whose around, or what others think or what they're doing...stay true and free to yourself by being true to God!

Another great way to practice this is to include God in your interior dialogue. Instead of having an interior monologue, have an interior dialogue. This means do not be the only one talking when speaking to the Lord, let Him speak to you...We don't have all the answers and we know this -yet most of us try to manipulate the conversation while praying.

By practicing these little ways of connecting to God throughout the day, we are in essence offering up ourselves to Him through our actions, our thoughts, our prayers, etc. and our whole life becomes a living prayer to God.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

God is Good!

How sweet our Good God is in His Mercy and Love!

His wisdom is such that not even Angels could dare to know His Designs.

Thank You Jesus for all You give and you take away...

Continue to rest within the Tabernacle of my heart

I strive to make it a place of refuge for you in the face of daily offenses against You and Your church.

Stoke the embers in my heart and make it a place of burning love for You and Your will.

Take away everything that is unholy about me and transform it into holiness in order to Praise You as I

should. Help me to forget myself and my attachments in this life.

I strive to see you face to face and long for the day when You call me home.

However, until that day is here, I wish to serve You well.

So that I may hear on that blessed day, "Well done, good and faithful Servant."

I will not take take my rest in Heaven either, as I wish to serve You still then.

I will be the Servant of Heaven, the lowly one that waits on Angels and Saints and Praises You through

these works. I will be the poorest of the poor in Heaven yet the richest in love for You my Lord!

I love you, My sweet Jesus, Make me what You will.

Your unworthy daughter,


Saturday, November 14, 2009

The pain of my heart.....

This may make no sense to anyone but I am not concerned about it. I only write it to relieve my emotions that must be purged through words.

Dear Jesus,

You know every aspect of my heart and soul. You are currently moving and stirring things in my heart.
I know that like Therese, my vocation in life is to love. Not just a mere romantic love or caring love but
a burning love of charity- only the kind of love you can impart to a human heart. I do not know how to handle all the love you hand over to me to give to others. I cannot even take the time to make sure they accept the love or even want it but I must continually give this love because it gives relief to my poor little heart. My body and helpless heart cannot contain the love you give- so I must give it to others. My heart is breaking with Your Divine Love. It continually cracks and tears in order to make room for more love. I realize now that is why I feel the pain unless I freely give of myself to others. I have to obey your command and give until it hurts and until I have nothing left to give. Please stay by my side Lord, because I am only as strong as You allow me to be at any given moment. It's strange because even though I feel as if I were to be consumed in Your love, my body remains the same. I appear to be totally untouched, but if anyone could take a picture of my soul, they would see a complete transformation. My soul is not complete in the plans you have made for it, it is merely under the construction of Your Divine Love. This must be why there is so much pain at this time both physical and spiritual, yet I can withstand it as long as You remain in me, I will gladly endure it for it gives me consolation to know that You are working on your littlest heart. The one who has no room for a fleas love - yet You my precious Lord are preparing my poor heart for an amount of love that not even a Galaxy can compare to. I will not think how it can happen Lord, but I only trust in Your plans for me and am at your feet Lord waiting for Your next Command of me. Please, sweet heart of Jesus, all I ask is that you never allow me to do my own will -only Your will Lord, Only Your Will.
Sacred Heart of Jesus, how little I love You compared to Your love of me!

your littlest heart of love.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Embracing Humiliations...

Just this title alone will probably scare or confuse most people into not even reading this...I know it would me anyway. But, the Lord has come to show me in my own arrogance and independence all of the blessings He bestows on us and those He takes away.

I have recently been reminded that sometimes the "things" we believe to be blessings could actually be the obstacle that keeps us from getting closer to God. For example, most of us right now are struggling with lost jobs, lost wages, lost health insurance and loss of "extracurricular" activities. Not that these things are necessarily blessings but they can be! The old saying a "blessing in disguise" is true in any circumstance we feel is negative. The only difference is we are not always brought to this realization. We may recognize the blessing in a week, a month, a year, or even at our own death but there must be Trust in the Lord that what "happens" to all of us is God's Will for us. It is to make us better or it may even be to prepare us for something bigger or harder in the future.

Have you ever thought about how lucky I must be to not have the extra money to go out to dinner or not be able to attend a ball game or even a movie. Most of us would not say that or even dare to think it for fear it may stay true...correct? Well when you find yourself or loved ones in a predicament you nor they can control, praise God for the blessing of having less distractions to take you away from Him!

Sometimes the Lord takes things away because we do not Rely on him as we should nor do We Praise Him as we should. I do not know His reasons nor do I claim I will ever but somehow I know in my heart of hearts that everything can be taken away but the only treasure I truly own is my love and Faith in Him and His love and Mercy for me. When you truly know and understand this mystery it will make swallowing any jagged pill of life that much easier! This is not to say everything in life will be a piece of cake because if it were being Christian would also be a piece of cake but in order to achieve the Glory of Heaven and one day gaze upon the Face of God, their must be labor and toiling involved.

Think of it as you would a job....or better yet your Vocation in life is to one day meet your Lord face to face. If you had to answer to an employer who was "in charge" of your promotion into Heaven or to which level of Heaven you were to be promoted to don't you think you'd be very careful which decision you made every waking moment of everyday?

This is how we are Judged by our Lord and Master....We must Fear Him not because He is Merciless but because He is our loving Father who wants what it best for us. So just as we all wanted to please our parents growing up and still we must strive for our Heavenly Father's Joy and Praise for our good works done on earth and our spreading of His love to all of those around us.

I may have gotten a little off track in this post but my point is to embrace the humiliations of not having the finest car, the finest home, the finest clothes, the finest job, embrace the literal poverty of our time to permeate the poverty of your soul and gain true humility. For true Humility and poverty of spirit consists in if you had a choice would you stay in your present circumstance of less money, driving a beat-up car and wearing old clothes because it kept you grounded and closer to God or would you jump at the chance to better your "standing" in society once again and forget about the hidden blessings the Lord bestowed on you. There is even more humilty in a person that accepts the better job but does not change his lifstyle...instead he gives away the extra money to the poor, the church, etc. The extra money is entrusted to him by God to do good works on earth. So no matter what your current circumstance embrace your hidden blessings or humiliations and Praise God for them at the end of the day...For only by way of the Cross will we gain Eternal life.

May God bless you and keep you always......


Saturday, May 30, 2009

Be ever Ready for battle......

We should be ever on guard of our souls, not because we should be afraid of the enemy, but because we should constantly be praising our Lord God who deserves all of our time and praise.

Prayer in Time of Temptation

In obedience to the Immaculate Conception, I command you, every unclean spirit, to depart; cease your attacks on us, our family, business, surroundings, and on those for whom we pray. In the name of Jesus I command you into the deep pit.
(Make the sign of the cross three times).
With Ecclesiastical Approval

Taken from The Imitation of Christ:Book 3:Interior Conversation;
Chapter 6:On the Proof of a True Lover.

Christ: My child, you are not yet a valiant and wise lover.
Disciple: Why Lord?
Christ: Because with little adversity you leave off what you have begun and eagerly seek outward consolation. Valiant lovers of God stand firm in time of temptation and pay no attention to the deceitful suggestions of their enemy, the devil. When all goes well with them, I please them;and so do I please them when things go wrong.

2. Wise lovers do not consider the gift of the Lover as much as they do the love of the Giver. They look more at the love of the Giver. They look more at the love than at the value of the gift;for their Beloved is far above His gifts. Generous lovers are not content with the gift, but desire Me above any gift I can give them.

Therefore, do not be discouraged if sometimes you have less devotion toward Me or my saints than you wish.On the other hand, that good, spiritual desire you feel now and then toward your Lord is the gift of grace given to you for your comfort in this life and a foretaste of heavenly glory.
But it is not good to rely on such comforts that come and go, according to the will of the Giver. Strive always against temptations to sin and despise the suggestions of the devil, for this is a sign of virtue and of great merit.

3. Do not permit strange fantasies to disturb you, no matter what suggests them. hold to your resolutions and keep your intention fixed on Me; nor think it is an illusion if sometimes you are rapt in ecstasy and then suddenly return to your usual levity of heart.

For these you endure unwillingly, and so long as you do not encourage them and they displease you, they will be a cause of merit for you and not loss.

4. You know that our old enemy, the devil, uses every means he can to keep you from your good works and your prayer life- namely, from the worship you owe to Me and the veneration of the Saints,from meditating on My Passion, from the profitable reflection of your sins, from keeping watch over your heart and from a firm resolution to advance in virtue.
This fiend will suggest many idle and evil thoughts to draw you away from prayer and weary you with spiritual reading and other good works. A humble confession is obnoxious to him and, if he can, he will prevent you from receiving Holy Communion. Do not believe him, and pay no attention to him no matter how often he tries to trap you.

Turn his malice against him, saying to him:Begone Satan, you wicked spirit, and be ashamed, for you are foul to suggest such things to me. Depart from me, you father of lies. You shall have no hold upon me; for Jesus Christ,my Savior, is with me as my valiant defender, and you shall be put to flight in utter confusion.

I would rather die in torment than give in to you. Be silent and cease your malice, for I will not listen to you no matter how much you tempt me.

"The Lord is my light and my salvation;whom should I fear? Even if an army encamps against me, my heart will not succumb to fear. You are my help and my deliverer."(Pss 27:1,3;40:18).

Fight on like a good soldier; and if sometimes through weakness you fall, get up again and with greater strength than before, trust in My abundant grace. But be on guard against self-complacency and pride; for it is through these that many are led into error, and sometimes into an almost incurable blindness of soul.

Let the downfall of those who foolishly rely on themselves be a warning to you and keep you always humble.

Peace of Christ be with you.....

The most important and profitable time of my whole day is the time I spend with God.



Saturday, May 2, 2009

Which will you choose...the spark or the fire?

As a little girl....all I used to dream about was getting married and having a beautiful family of my own. I also wanted to be a Saint. Now, I wish to be an uncanonized saint.

Although I am married...I know I may never have is not in God's plan for me, and I have learned to accept it joyfully because I know He must have something better in store for me!

But let's think about those called to the Holy priesthood or religious life. If you are a parent or were a parent...what would be your reaction to your only son or daughter wanting to enter religious life? What would you say? Would your dreams of grandchildren be shattered? Maybe....but think about what God is calling him/her to do and to be!

We all understand when a girl/boy or man/woman feel the chemistry and sparks of first love or romance and wish to live the rest of their life with each other. We understand it because it is a part of our human nature to love and want to find a mate in life.

So why do we not understand when a man or woman feels the Divine Fire of God's love in their life and falls completely and totally in love with Him? God's love is pure..and lasting. His love sees us through all....

When friends, brothers, sisters, daughter, or sons marry another person, we never know how long it will last. We are unsure of their future. Sometimes people even try to predict how long their marriage will last.

So why would we be afraid of letting our loved ones marry God or the Church? Both have proven to be everlasting through good times and bad. God will never leave, never cheat, never let the fire of His love go out. We are the imperfect ones.

So please, encourage those with a holy vocation and pray for them! Do not hope that they "grow out of it" or that "it's just a phase". Pray that your daughter, your son, your grandkids should be so lucky to be called to such a high state of life! We need good holy vocations to lead to future and be prayer warriors for God!

God bless you and Happy First Saturday!

My prayers,


Christ vs. Swine Flu

I know today a lot of people are very worried about Swine Flu and the prevention of this or any other disease. However, it really disturbed me tonight at Mass that our Pastor would actually suggest receiving the Body of Christ in our hand as opposed to on our tongues because it has less of a chance of spreading germs. Also, he gave us the option of not shaking hands during the sign of the peace and if we had a cold we should not receive the Blood of Christ.

In the fashion of a local California t.v. personality, Huell Howser,

Do you mean to tell me....that the Swine Flu is more powerful than the Body and Blood of Christ?

Think about it......

Okay now really think about that.....

Is it not a teaching of our faith that the bread and wine during the Consecration really turn into the Body and Blood of Christ? Yes, you say?

Then why on God's green earth would I be afraid of receiving the Body or Blood of Christ a certain way? Do you not think that God will or would protect us from such a virus while receiving Him? If His Body and Blood could take away the ugly sins of the world....don't you think He could protect us from a virus?

This is more than just the way you receive or not receive something....this is a matter of faith. You either believe or you don't and honestly if you were somehow meant to get this'll get it one way or another because it is part of God's will for you, not because you decided to receive the Holy Eucharist on your tongue or because you drank from the Chalice of Precious Blood! Come on!

Let's live our faith and show our faith through our can we defend our faith if we cannot even live it through times of adversity?

I'm sorry but this infuriated me and I took offense to it as I'm sure the Lord did! I do not get angry very often...but I felt I needed to vent this and get the Truth of the Eucharist out there and stop some of the offenses incurred on our Lord out of sheer ignorance.

God bless you all....and please Do not be Afraid to receive our Precious Lord!